I Wonder How Many Writers Think Themselves Terrible?

I have been doing a bit of reading lately, more than usual I fact. There’s a reason I don’t read much at times. We’ll, more than one reason I guess. For one, I’m afraid I’ll be influenced too much by another author’s style and begin to sound more like that author than myself. Another reason is that the more I read, I soon come to realize how inadequatly skilled I am. I’ve never thought myself great but I usually trudge on, hacking my way through what slowly becomes something at least a few folks will enjoy reading. 

Surprisingly, this is very satisfying to me, though I would love support myself soley from putting my thoughts and amagination on display. 

Did John Steinbeck think himself a talentless hack? Has Dean Koontz ever lost nights of sleep worrying his newly completed novel was trash? I have met writers who seem to be utterly convinced of their own superiority. Do they really believe that?

Well, enough random thoughts and rambling of insecurities for now…and my apologies to all the other authors I didn’t mention.


Freedom to Travel, Free Time… Now What?

I’m literally living a dream come true. I travel where I want when I want. I have my first novel published and available for Kindle readers and in paperback. I’m working (however slowly… that’s how I do it) on my second thriller novel. 

Now, here’s my problem. Apparently I have zero skills when it comes to self promotion. I do sell some books but no where near the numbers I’d like. I receive mostly great feedback from my readers (yes, even the ones who aren’t family or friends). I don’t believe myself to be the next best selling author in fiction thrillers by any means. Maybe that in itself is part of the problem? But, I do believe I can carve out a very modest living at some point using my imagination and making my writing available to anyone interested. 

I keep thinking there must be something I can be doing to increase my numbers, maybe something related to my ability to travel and be almost anywhere, anytime. Writing, free time, the ability to change my location on a whim… shouldn’t that be a perfect recipe. 

I think I know what part of the problem is. It is very difficult for me to tell folks that I meet in regular conversation that I’m a novelist. It just sounds like bragging. Even though it’s true. I wonder how many people say that sort of thing and people automatically think “Oh… that’s bullshit. This poor dreamer.” Or something like that? 

Anyway, I haven’t stumbled across what works for me yet. I think it’s something unique to each author’s situation though. I would certainly be willing to share in my profits with someone who is skilled at marketing and promotion, or maybe even trade services of some kind. Strangely, I am skilled at many things, self promotion just not being one of them. 

Until I figure out how to get my work into the hands of my fans, I guess I’ll just continue to live in beautiful places, see new things, have new adventures, spend time with my wonderful wife, keep writing more novels, and keep looking for ways to distribute my work to those who would be interested. 

Even though I’m completely lost as to what to do with what I write down, I have no intention on stopping. The right path for me will slap me the face at some point. Until then, I can’t think of a way to better be lost.